Companions on the Journey

I wrote a short article on church history and spiritual formation for Campus Crosswalk, an online campus ministry magazine. If you're interested you can access the article here.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

October

I'm sure it comes as a surprise to none of you that I am delinquent in posting. I do, however, have some pictures from October for you--a little bit late.

Owen and the pumpkins. He still is not quite sitting up on his own so I propped him up just long enough to snap the picture.

Owen got to go on his first airplane trip in October to Washington D.C. for the MANA kickoff. He did great on the flight. He will be taking trip #2 back to DC in a couple of weeks for my first comprehensive exam. Let's hope he does as well on the flight (and his mom passes her exam!)

At the beginning of the month, my grandparents came to visit. Here is Owen with Mema and PawPaw.

And here is David Todd's MANAlantern. It's the MANA logo he carved into the pumpkin. (MANA is a non-profit organization David Todd is involved with that is working on ending childhood malnutrition in Africa. You can check them out at www.mananutrition.org or see their Facebook page).

4 Months and new/old friends

Owen hit the 4 month marker last week and at his doctor appointment he weighed in at 14.4 pounds and 26.25 inches tall. That makes him a tall, skinny baby. (Incidentally, he also has a small head--only in the 30th percentile on head size.)

Also last week, my college roommate, Amy, was in town and she and her family came over for dinner. Her baby, Mason, was born about a month before Owen. Here are the two of them in their matching Bumbo seats:

Home pics

Here are a couple of pictures I took at home a couple of weeks ago.

He finally will stay on his tummy for a few minutes.

He loves the Bumbo seat. The buzz has officially turned into a mohawk.

Birth Story, part 2-- Finally!

Well here it is, finally. Sorry for the delay. They say you forget what happens in labor after you go through it, so I guess after you hear my story you should ask David Todd what he remembers about Owen's birth!

As we got settled into our new life in Texas, we realized that since I was due on May 28^th, we would likely not be able to celebrate our 5^th wedding anniversary on June 5^th so we decided we would celebrate a little early. David Todd had Memorial Day off of work, so we decided to take advantage of our last opportunity to get out for awhile and booked a hotel in Ft. Worth. Sunday morning we went to church, ate lunch with all the Harmons, did a little shopping, checked into our hotel and settled in for a nap. I woke up from my nap at about 5:00 having some contractions. I didn’t think too much of it since I’d been having some contractions on and off for the past week. So we go dressed to go out do dinner and left the hotel.

The contractions were still coming fairly regularly while we were eating so we decided to start timing them. They were coming about 7-10 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds or so. We began to think that this might be the day. We stayed and enjoyed a leisurely (but too large) dinner, trying between contractions to figure out what we were going to name our baby who was about to arrive. After we finished eating we decided to take a walk. We were in lovely downtown Ft. Worth and walking is supposed to help labor so we walked around a bit. Pretty soon though, we figured we should head back to the hotel and time the contractions more precisely so we would know when we needed to leave. By the time we got back to the hotel, the contractions were about 5 minutes apart and about a minute long. I took a shower (in order to relax, not in order to get clean) and we packed up. When we checked out and told the valet that we were leaving because I was in labor, you would have thought we told them the building was on fire. We weren’t in any particular hurry to get to the birthing center, but they retrieved the car and loaded our bags in record time.

We arrived back at our house sometime around midnight and I called the midwife on call and told her how my labor was progressing. Knowing that I was a first time mom and that labor can often take a long time, she suggested I take a walk and/or a bath and call her again when I was ready to come in. We walked (rather, David Todd walked, I waddled) around our neighborhood, inching around the block and stopping every 10 yards while I had a contraction. When we arrived back home, I decided to sit in the bath for a few minutes before we drove to Dallas. The bath did feel good, but it had the unfortunate effect of making me lose my large anniversary dinner. About that time, my contractions started to feel a little different and I felt like it was time for us to go in. We called Beverly again and she said she would meet us up there.

Walking around during labor was quite a bit more comfortable than driving during labor and the 40 minute drive to the birth center gave me the opportunity to test out my hypnobirthing relaxation techniques. I really didn’t want to get there too early and I was afraid the whole way there that I would get there and be 2 cm dilated. We arrived at the birthing center at about 2:15 and found to my relief that I was 8 cm dilated. Beverly called Carol, the other midwife, and they offered suggestions and encouragement as paced around the birthing center, eating ice chips and trying to relax through my contractions. Certain that I would want lots to snack on during labor, I had packed a whole bag full of yummy treats, but at 3:00 am, after losing my dinner, food was the furthest thing from my mind. (I did like those ice chips, though!)

As it approached 4:00 am, my contractions seemed to be piling on top of each other, one starting before the previous one had ended and right at 4:00 I knew it was time to start pushing. Somewhere in there, they checked me again to see how I was progressing and I was 10 cm dilated. My water hadn’t broken yet so Carol broke my water and then it was down to business.

I had heard from several people that transition (the period from 8-10 cm dilated) was the hardest part—once second stage labor (the pushing part) begins it’s not as difficult. This, however, was not my experience. Up until this time, my hypnobirthing techniques had managed the discomfort pretty well. In fact, the idea of lying down on a bed was about the worst thing I could imagine so I wouldn’t have wanted to lie down to get pain meds even if they had been available. Once the pushing started, though, it was a somewhat different story. My second stage only lasted 37 minutes, but it was a pretty intense 37 minutes. The birth room at the birth center has a big 4-poster bed in it and I had always thought that the posts on 4 poster beds seemed pretty useless, but I found a use for them in labor. Whenever a contraction would come, Carol and Beverly had me squat down, holding onto the bedpost with David Todd behind me holding my back while I pushed so I could use gravity to help as much as possible. After about 25 or 30 minutes of that I started to crown. They handed me a mirror so I could see it (which I thought before going into labor would be really cool) and I did glance at it, but it sort of freaked me out a little, so I gave the mirror back.

After I crowned, I actually got on the bed for the first time (besides the two exams) and a couple of pushes later, Carol was coaching David Todd on how to catch the baby. And at 4:37 am on a very memorable Memorial Day I heard something like, “The head is out!” One more push: “The shoulders are out!” And two seconds later, David Todd had caught Owen and put him up on my chest in what was the most incredible single moment of my life to date. Owen (he didn’t actually have his name until about 4 hours after he was born) was pretty calm, not crying even though they really wanted him to so he could get his lungs all cleared out. He was 20 ¼ inches long and he weighed 7 lbs. 14 oz. Over the next few hours, David Todd helped do all the procedures they do for newborns, including giving him a bath, while I recovered a bit and drank about a gallon of orange juice (which I don’t really even like that much, but for some reason it was the most delicious thing I had ever put in my mouth). About 6:30 some of our family began to show up to see Owen and at 11:30 that morning we put Owen in the car and headed home.

If you’re still reading this you’ve hung in there a long time so I won’t drag it out much further, I just have a couple of reflections. Women have all kinds of birth experiences and none of them are more or less valid than any others. Sometimes, as in my case, a birth goes much how it’s planned, but in many cases for many different reasons, the plans change. I have no judgment for women who choose a different kind of birth than the one I chose and I have much empathy for women whose birth experience does not turn out to be what they plan or want. I think overcoming an un-ideal birth experience is much more difficult than not having an epidural. I am fortunate that I got not only the end result of bringing Owen into the world, but also felt validated in the process. If anyone is wondering if I would choose to have an unmedicated birth again, the answer is absolutely yes. I wouldn’t want to do it any other way. In addition to all of the benefits of unmedicated birth that you can read about books, I felt that it helped to prepare me for motherhood. Much of my time and energy and many of the things I think I do well are pretty mental activities. I do a lot of reading and writing and thinking and talking, but not a lot of things that are really physical. (I realize that all of those things are physical to a certain degree and I’m not crazy about the physical/mental dichotomy, but I’m not sure how to explain this any other way.) I don’t play a lot of sports or do much manual labor at any rate. Giving birth was a profoundly physical task that I feel prepared me for the very physical job of motherhood. It wasn’t easy—it was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done, but it was also the most rewarding.

Got the Smile!

As it turns out, all I needed to do to get smile pictures was take Owen to visit Grandma and Grandpa!

(I haven't forgotten about birth story part two--it's coming soon.)

Owen's Birth Story, part one

I'm sure that many of you have heard Owen's birth story, but I wanted to write it out anyway, so I thought I would post it here for anyone who is interested. Here is the first installment:

Soon after getting pregnant, like most pregnant people I imagine, I began to think about giving birth. I was intrigued by the idea of natural childbirth, but thought it was for people much tougher than I. I knew a few people who’d had good experiences giving birth without medication, but wasn’t sure if I was up for it. I decided to do some reading about it and not make any quick decisions about what kind of birth I wanted to have. After doing some reading, (especially The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth and Birthing From Within) I was convinced that I wanted an unmedicated birth, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it. I’ve never been a fan of pain or hard physical work and I was afraid I just wouldn’t be able to handle the work or the pain of labor without medication.

I decided that taking a class would improve my chances so I went in search of a class. I looked at websites for Bradley method, Lamaze, and any other natural childbirth class I could find. In the midst of my search, I had a doctor’s appointment. The practice I was with at the time had both obstetricians and midwives who delivered babies. At the prenatal appointments patients would see various doctors and midwives, hopefully seeing most of them in the course of pregnancy in order to have met whoever would be on call when it was labor time. At this particular appointment, I was seeing one of the doctors (the only doctor that I saw, actually; the rest of my appointments were with midwives) and at the end of my appointment, I mentioned that I was considering an ummedicated birth and asked if he had any recommendations about a particular method. Now, in these books that I had been reading, they tell you things that some doctors will say to discourage women from having unmedicated childbirth. “Some doctors may say those things,” I would think, “but not my doctors. They work in a practice with midwives so they must have some appreciation for natural childbirth.” So imagine my surprise when my doctor started saying word for word what the books said doctors would say: “Anesthesia today is very safe and effective.” “Childbirth is the only medical procedure where people would even consider not having anesthesia.” “Natural childbirth is really unnecessary.” He practically compared the birth of a baby to a root canal. I don’t think that everyone needs to have a natural childbirth. I am grateful for modern medicine, especially in emergency cases, and I think that women should have the option for pain relief if they want it. But there can be both physical and psychological benefits to an unmedicated birth—it’s not the same thing as refusing anesthesia for a knee replacement. I left feeling discouraged, but not deterred. If anything, by listening to my doctor summarily dismiss my thoughts and feelings about childbirth I became stronger in my resolve to do everything I could to have the birth experience I thought would be best for both me and my baby.

One of the advantages to the kind of practice I was with was that I saw someone different each time so if I didn’t like the answer to a question from one person, I just asked the same question again the next time. So at my next appointment, I still hadn’t decided what kind of class to take so I asked the midwife the same question I had asked the doctor the month before. Her answer couldn’t have been more different. She was genuinely excited that I was considering natural childbirth and told me about her experience with natural childbirth. When I asked if she had a method she recommended, she told me she had seen really amazing results with Hypnobirthing.

It’s one thing to tell people you are planning to have an unmedicated childbirth and another thing to tell them you are taking Hypnobirthing classes. But after looking into Hypnobirthing and talking to the local instructor, David Todd and I both were impressed and signed up for the class. Hypnobirthing is similar to other methods with one major difference: it claims that childbirth doesn’t have to be painful. Sounds crazy, I know. But I sat in the classes and listened to women tell the stories of their births and say that they wouldn’t describe their births as painful. So we went to classes and I listened to tapes and practiced relaxation techniques. As I got closer to the time of my birth, I found that was wasn’t afraid of labor anymore. I didn’t know what would happen and I was curious and nervous a little bit, but I wasn’t scared of the pain anymore. I knew that things could happen to prevent me from having a natural birth, but I no longer thought that I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

A major change in our plans occurred when we decided to take the opportunity to move to Dallas. Although I was nervous about changing healthcare providers at 36 weeks, I was excited about the possibility of having my baby at a birth center instead of a hospital. There weren’t really any birth center options that I knew of in the DC area, but when we started to look, there were a few places in the Dallas area. After meeting with them and touring the facility, we decided to go to the Birth and Women’s Center in Dallas.

So at the beginning of May, I had made the 20+ hour car trip without going into labor and was moved into the new place, waiting to go into labor.

Smile Pictures

So Owen has been smiling for awhile, but I we didn't have any pictures of him smiling so I thought I'd try to get a picture of him smiling. So my plan was to set him in his bouncy chair, get him to smile and snap a picture. Here was the problem: my camera shines a light in his face for a few seconds before it flashes takes the picture. The light had the repeated effect of causing Owen to make some other facial expression besides smiling.

At first, he was mildly amused.

Honestly, mom, would you stop flashing that light in my face.

Then I had the brilliant idea of taking him outside where there was plenty of light and so the camera wouldn't need a flash. There were two problems. 1. It was about 800 degrees outside. 2. I didn't need a flash, but it was so bright I might as well have been flashing his face constantly.

So, no smile pictures for now, but you can see his buzz cut.

Owen's First Fishing Trip

My family was in town last week for the Stidham family vacation and Owen got to meet the rest of his cousins. Being an irresponsible parent, I failed to get pictures. We did, however, get a group picture. Here is the whole family:

By Thursday morning everyone had gone home and David Todd had taken the whole week off so we decided to go to Lake Fork for the night. With no parents or siblings to take pictures for me, I managed to get a few. Here is Owen in his fishing hat and life jacket. As you can tell, he was very excited.

There are thousands of trees like this in the middle of the lake and for some reason all of the birds were resting on this particular tree.

David Todd, Owen and the big fish David Todd caught 5 minutes before we were about to head in to go home. Once again, Owen was very excited about the catch.

Family picture with the fish. I post this picture to show off my skills in balancing a camera with a timer on a rocky boat.

4th of July

We spent the 4th of July weekend on lake Granbury with the Harmon crew. Here are a few pictures of the weekend.

Our family in the lake:

The cousins hanging out in the water:

Brazos in his cool hat:

Owen and David Todd:

The Stidham vacation is coming up, so more pictures to follow.

Third Time's the Charm

For those of you who know me, you may be thinking, "didn't Tera already have a blog that she never posted on?"  And the answer is yes, in fact I've had two blogs that I started and failed to keep up.  So my track record for keeping up blogs is not very good, but since I have far away friends and family asking for updates on Owen, I plan to post pictures and stories about him and occasionally to write a few of my own thoughts.  To start you off, here's a picture of Owen, taken last week at about 3 1/2 weeks old.